This is going to be my introductory post.

I grew up in a small town, more redneck than most rural communities. They also think they're a tad bit city folk and need to be treated like VIPs on occasions; that's just speculation from a tourist's point of view though. I won't go into detail.

I was born and raised in a Christian home. My dad is/was a preacher for many different churches in the prime of his lifetime. He's still peppy as ever though. My dad and mom have been married for quite some time with six kids to be proud of, of course. Me, being the fourth out of the six offspring, was a little over the edge. My life has consisted of some crazy stories that I just don't have room or the time to type all of them out for the world to see and read. But I think that's okay to spare you the gruesome details of my mistakes and mishaps. I would hope you'd agree.

I'm not your typical Sunday school church girl, and I'm definitely not your normal preacher's kid either. I didn't really care what people thought of me. As a little kid, I didn't really believe in the pressures the church put on us preachers kids, but as I got older, I saw it all too often. The preachers kids of today are put on such high standards because of their father's place in the pulpit that I truly think its unfair and impractical to think kids as angels. They're going to act up and be spiteful sometimes, but that's if they've not been taught right. Considering the fact they're being brought up in a Christian home, I would hope that the parents would have enough common sense and maturity to know how to be decent parents. At least have their kids semi under control; it wasn't always that way though. There were moments where discipline was necessary, but that's the same for every child, religious or not. Consistency and discipline is key.

Along the road to my teenage years, I got involved with some kids that weren't really good influences on my somewhat naive mind and character at the time. It led me into doing things a normal Christian teen wouldn't and probably shouldn't do. Okay, not probably shouldn't do, most likely cannot do at all. Yes, I would break more rules than I would keep them. It was normal for me to be out late with friends considering that's all I had of a social life besides the people I knew at work and church. Hanging out with my friends was what I looked forward to, but it was always another night to be stressed out about what to wear, look like in those clothes, if I'd fit in with the rest of the group, etc. It was a continuous cycle of fear of abandonment and rejection by these people my age that I put so high on an imaginary pedestal. I would soon be disappointed and regret getting close to any of those people I even had an idea that was my friend. They would soon find out they could bully me and make me feel lower than the ground I stood on. It was just the new normal that I had willing and desperately put myself against just to have "friends". Was it worth it? I think you have the answer to that question already. It was not worth it at all, my friends. Wasn't in the slightest bit worth my life on the edge.

Later on that year, I realized that dropping those friends would be the best thing that I could do for myself. I did it with fear and confidence hoping it would all turn out okay in the end. God had His hand in it all and I would be just fine, I thought. Doing the right thing and saving yourself is never easy. Doing what God wants us to do is never easy either. Following Him isn't ever meant to be easy at all. If we want something great, we have to do our part and work for it. Sometimes we get tired and slowly start thinking giving up is the best option, but that only makes us quitters and weak. I pretty much vow to myself on a daily basis that I will never be weak. And if I break down, it's only to tear down my weak walls and put up stronger ones. That is my conclusion for all emotional instability that a person goes through in their lifetime. You might have a different opinion. And that's okay.

I will never regret the pain I have went through. Yes, some of it could have been avoided if I had listened to certain parties including my parents of course. They bore me and brought me into this world, so they should know their own daughter right? Right. At least more than society does or any other non-related person to me. I've learned it's not right or smart to listen to a stranger who doesn't know you, telling you how you should live your life when they know nothing of it anyway.

In closing, I would just like to say one thing: don't give up. Just because it's hard sometimes, doesn't mean there's not still good things to come. The rainbow always appears after the rain. Don't appreciate the rainbow if you don't understand why its there. God made a promise to Noah that He would never destroy the Earth like that ever again. Don't destroy the joy and triumph in your struggles and forget to appreciate the beauty in the pain. There's a reason for everything and in everything a purpose. Go be successful and prosperous.

God loves you.
Goodnight.